Dating, without it we remain single, still perfectly happy with our own lives but alone. Don't let anyone tell you that dating is not a game, or full of games we all play. Some of us play these games unknowingly while some of us have mastered the art. My personal favorite is the chase. I will admit that I have not always been so good at this game, it's taken many years and many boyfriends to perfect it, but I think I have the general idea now.
Think of it as predator and prey. Now it's no fun for the predator if the prey doesn't give chase, where's the excitement if a lion roaming the plains can just walk up to some herd of gazelles and choose one to have as a snack. The lion must work for his meal, it must be a challenge to all his abilities and all the reasons why he is king. Men are this way, they need the excitement and challenge of trying to win over the affections of a lady. So therefore it is our jobs ladies to try not to be caught.
Now this is where I had trouble in the past...I wanted to be caught. But knowing what I know now I can see the error in my ways. I wasn't a challenge that required these men to prove they were worthy of my affections by chasing me down and proving they had what it takes to be king (so to speak). Just like the gazelle, I was a baited trap and lured the predator toward me, but once the contact was made I just stood there and accepted it....and without fail, shortly thereafter the lion became bored and sought more exciting prey.
So what does this mean? It means we have to play games, and the more you know about how the game is played the better your odds are at turning the tables in your favor. I'm not talking about going crazy and being all dramatic, most of us play these games without even knowing what we're doing. It's the little things that encourage the chase, like maintaining your own life and not trying to rearrange your schedule and friends to accommodate to him. Be busy, have plans, don't answer every call on the first ring or respond to every text right away, let him wonder what you're up to and he'll be planning his next "attack" on how to lure you in closer. Cancel on him for a girls night now and then...even if "girls night" secretly means you sitting at home watching sappy movies and painting your toes with a face mask on. We all want what we can't have and this will keep him in the chase and pursuing after you.
I recently found myself in a situation where I have been many times before, I got comfortable with a new guy and stopped running. The chase was over and I could almost sense an immediate withdrawal on his side as he became more distant and less communicative with me as he unconsciously stopped chasing me. Now what I chose to do here might not be the same course of action as others might take, but I tend to be one of those ones who has to do things the hard way. I let him know how I felt, that his recent withdrawal hurt my feelings, I told him that I understood his rationale for being busy and distant lately and unable to be around as much...then I walked away. Which, if you're keeping up with the rules of the game, initiated a new chase. Men process things more slowly than women do, so today is day two of putting space between me and my pursuer. I've decided to give him the week to mull it over and see if he'll pick up the chase again.
This can go one of two ways, either the space and new challenge will make him want to give chase again, or he'll go off in search of some new prey to hunt. Either way, at least I have been establishing my own space again too these days. I will keep you posted.
